I don't know how to feel right now.
I've never been a competitive person. When we had PE and we had to play some game like basketball or fotball I never cared about the score. I never cared about how it would end. If we were going to win or lose. And why actually? It was just a game. But there were a lot of girls who just needed to win. They hurried to get the ball and to score and if you were the unlucky person who was part of the team with such a girl, she would have the look in her eyes like you didn't do anyting good for the team and you barely tried. And let's face it. She would be kind of right.
I applied for a press competition last week and I didn't know for sure if I wanted to get in. Because then I realized that I'd have to be in front of cameras (because there will be a document about it or something) and I'd have to give them an interview and show them what I could do. And of course, compete with others, try to win against them. And I'm so bad at it. I was forced to take part in a guitar competition few years ago. I had to compete because I was good. (I don't want to flatter myself that much- but I really believe that I was) So I went there- because it was something that was expected from me-but I was secretely wishing not to win. I think I had third place and only the first one had to compete in other round. But can you believe it? I had a great potential. I could play in some band or study at some musical school. But I was too scared. I still am. I'm too scared of failing, of disappointing myself. It's beter not to try anything because then you can't spoil it. But I tried it last week. I wrote a reportage and a CV. I wouldn't normally even consider it but I had the feeling that I should try it! It was a bit too late. I had one last day to write everyting down. I was working on it during my lectures at university because I'd like to become a journalist in the future. Even though I don't study it this year (I'm not exactly sure why I didn't try it last year but I guess I was too scared of my failure)- so I wanted to try this competition.
Well, I got a refusal letter this evening. After I read it (it wasn't that long) I wanted to cry for a second. And then suddenly I didn't. I realized that a lot of people had to overcome their failures. (Or maybe failure are not really failures. Maybe everything really happens for a reason so it was meant to be). For example J.K. Rowling. She received "loads" of rejections before she finally got published. It was sent to 12 different publishers before it ended up with Bloomsbury Publishing. How crazy and horrible it must've been for her. She knew she was good and she had to find a strengh to overcome the failures. Let's face it. Wouldn't you just give it up after second or third rejection? But what about the ninth or eleventh time? But it was totally worth to wait.
So let's try to find a hope and strengt somewhere deep inside us. Let's follow our dreams.
Let's be like J.K. Rowling.
I've never been a competitive person. When we had PE and we had to play some game like basketball or fotball I never cared about the score. I never cared about how it would end. If we were going to win or lose. And why actually? It was just a game. But there were a lot of girls who just needed to win. They hurried to get the ball and to score and if you were the unlucky person who was part of the team with such a girl, she would have the look in her eyes like you didn't do anyting good for the team and you barely tried. And let's face it. She would be kind of right.
I applied for a press competition last week and I didn't know for sure if I wanted to get in. Because then I realized that I'd have to be in front of cameras (because there will be a document about it or something) and I'd have to give them an interview and show them what I could do. And of course, compete with others, try to win against them. And I'm so bad at it. I was forced to take part in a guitar competition few years ago. I had to compete because I was good. (I don't want to flatter myself that much- but I really believe that I was) So I went there- because it was something that was expected from me-but I was secretely wishing not to win. I think I had third place and only the first one had to compete in other round. But can you believe it? I had a great potential. I could play in some band or study at some musical school. But I was too scared. I still am. I'm too scared of failing, of disappointing myself. It's beter not to try anything because then you can't spoil it. But I tried it last week. I wrote a reportage and a CV. I wouldn't normally even consider it but I had the feeling that I should try it! It was a bit too late. I had one last day to write everyting down. I was working on it during my lectures at university because I'd like to become a journalist in the future. Even though I don't study it this year (I'm not exactly sure why I didn't try it last year but I guess I was too scared of my failure)- so I wanted to try this competition.
Well, I got a refusal letter this evening. After I read it (it wasn't that long) I wanted to cry for a second. And then suddenly I didn't. I realized that a lot of people had to overcome their failures. (Or maybe failure are not really failures. Maybe everything really happens for a reason so it was meant to be). For example J.K. Rowling. She received "loads" of rejections before she finally got published. It was sent to 12 different publishers before it ended up with Bloomsbury Publishing. How crazy and horrible it must've been for her. She knew she was good and she had to find a strengh to overcome the failures. Let's face it. Wouldn't you just give it up after second or third rejection? But what about the ninth or eleventh time? But it was totally worth to wait.
So let's try to find a hope and strengt somewhere deep inside us. Let's follow our dreams.
Let's be like J.K. Rowling.
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